QUACK: The Code – Part 1

Hello and thank you for being you!

😍🙏🏼🤩✨😍🙌🏼🤩💕🌟

What an interesting week it has been, hasn’t it????

Mind you, the word “interesting” comes from an observant, open-minded viewpoint. So even if your week has been (in your eyes) a potential cataclysmic failure, mind-numbingly boring, peaceful and sun-kissed, aggravatingly cold with moments of snow, ridiculously complicated, a raging good time, the seemingly worst week of your life, just okay, a blend of many things…….it can all be seen as “interesting,” or not putting a caption or judgement on what’s “good” and what’s “bad.” This helps to refrain from Kung-fu-gripping whatever emotions you were feeling (and possibly still are feeling) about yourself and your surroundings, allowing your point of view to stay open and curious. Not letting emotions run wild, so to speak.

A friend of mine always said, “It’s interesting that I have this point of view,” every time something would come up for him that created any form of stress or un-ease. Rather than falling to judgement about himself and other people, he would practice this observation technique so that he could pause and ask questions in order to create a different, lighter narrative in his brain and his being. By doing so, he could turn his attention to what felt right and true for himself and then choose a non-reactionary way to handle the situation. Amazing, right??? This power that we have to alter our circumstances. I remember loving this expansive view of his and adopting this “interesting POV” into my own language. I mean, how easy is it to fall to judgment and an emotional goose chase? Yes, with regards to other people, we could go on for weeks about the many ways judgement presents itself, but my main focus now is with regards to our own selves. What about the judgements that we create for or about ourselves that aren’t self-serving, constructive, productive, or kind? It’s easy to do and it happens all the time. BUT – – – Words matter. Your self-talk and your thoughts matter. And judging and criticizing yourself can be so damaging and create such tunnel vision to change or to beneficial shifts that would make all the difference in that moment or in your life….if only we could step back, open our eyes a bit wider, and allow for that change to show up. Easier said than done a lot of the time, I know….I have always been a master at self-criticizing. There’s my own red flag. 🚩

And that’s the trick, isn’t it? Allowing yourself to be open and receptive to change, especially because change is the constant in life as we all know. And change can be really uncomfortable and hard to manage. And, at the same time, if we do accept change with our whole hearts and let it happen, rather than always resisting this inevitable force, couldn’t that create a more joyful, expansive life with more possibilities? Maybe even offer a deeper connection to yourself and to the people in your life?

Because what we resist, persists, yes? And this has been my focus for the past week. How exactly do I welcome more positive, fulfilling, lasting changes in my life? (A.K.A. change the subconscious narrative that I am destined for knee injuries for the rest of my life?)

Now, this has been an “interesting” (see what I did there) question for me because where many people tend to resist change, I usually seek it. I enjoy the challenge of something new and putting myself out of my comfort zone so that I can expand my perception and find growth within myself. A prime example for me is where this very blog began, when I set off on the adventure of a lifetime to hike the Appalachian Trail. Having been a newbie to every single part of what it meant to hike the AT, this was literally as far outside of my comfort zone that I could go! And I prepped in two months, (gear and all!), learned as I went, walked 530+ miles in about two months, and it has been one of the most rewarding adventures that I have ever experienced, EVER! I look at my ‘blog scrapbook’ now and I feel so grateful because it honestly added an entirely new dimension to my life. And I re-tell this story to illustrate that I have always embraced the challenges and the learning process that change often offers.

Except when it comes to my many, many knee injuries and surgeries. 😐 As a self-reflection, I was absolutely, 100% not okay with these changes and “F” the lessons that they were supposed to teach me!!!!!! Okay, so perhaps this particular example was MAINLY from the second ACL tear on my opposite leg, after having “healed” and moved on from my first ACL Tear, and this was about the time when my professional dance career officially ended. Rough stuff. And this extreme frustration definitely reared it’s ugly head on multiple (MULTIPLE) occasions throughout my knee journey and recovery periods…..Nope, nope, not so proud of it at all. 😬

The more that I reflect on all of my knee traumas and the years of rehab and recovery over the past seven years – – since I have plenty of time to THINK now, thank you, self-quarantine!! – – – the more that it’s so clear that I was certainly not gracious for these challenges, these changes in my life, and the lessons that I was supposed to be learning from all of it. Feeling like the “rug got pulled out from underneath me” so many times did NOT feel good. AND it wasn’t just a little fall, where you can get up, brush off the dirt, put a bandaid on the scratches and move on. These multiple instances felt like a parachute-malfunctioning smash into the “earth of my soul” EVERY TIME, that would take months, if not years, from which to recover. Which makes me consider the possibility that I kept layering these injuries, one after the other, one on top of the other, not fully healing from any of them, which takes me to the present day and still having a part or pieces of me “un-healed.” And I’m not just talking about my knee here but rather something much deeper – – perhaps with my fear-based worries or my own harsh judgements that I’ve been storing all these years. It would certainly explain the REPEAT MODE that I have been on. Hold this thought…

As my thoughts keep going, and since I KNOW that this post has the potential to go on for a long while, I shall let you ponder what I’ve said and fill you in on Part 2 tomorrow! Perhaps at this point you’re thinking, yeah, the “interesting POV” is great and all, but what is this about QUACK in your title? Are you duck-calling to try to get answers because I don’t know how to feel about that? 🤷🏻‍♀️❓❓❓

I shall explain it all tomorrow, promise!!! It will make sense, I assure you. And no, it has nothing to do with ducks.

Though ducks are generally very lovely, calm, peaceful, happy creatures, who enjoy their lives together on the sea or on land….why not tune into their energy and appreciation for life? I LIKE IT!!!!!!

😊❤️🦆😊❤️🦆😊❤️🦆😊❤️🦆