Unique
Special
Powerful
Energetic
Loving
Creative
Peaceful
Kindness
Resilience
Patience
Understanding
Compassion
Open-minded
Curious
Mr. Let-it-go
Mrs. Give-yourself-a-break
Scrappy, the “unconditional-love-for-self”- reminding Golden Retriever
Fuzzy, the adventurous “anything-is-possible” kitten
Tango, the wise and aware “I-believe-in-a-power-greater-than-myself” owl
And YOU AND I!!!!!
You can’t go wrong with a guest list like this!!!! And I’m sure that I could have invited quite a few other magical souls to the party – – feel free to comment and we shall add them to the list!! – – yet, for now, this is everyone who has RSVP’ed to our party! The animals included. 😁🐶😺🦉
Now, let’s imagine this awesome “no reason” bash, (because who needs a reason to have a fabulous get-together?!?!?), where no negativity has been invited. Only love, possibility, empowering beliefs, open views, support for each other, good vibes, and positive and uplifting conversation. With wild dancing, the best music, and amazing food and fun drinks, clearly!
THEN, the Negativity Gang shows up, unannounced:
Self-destruction
Self-criticism
Fear
Blame
Shamey McShame-ison
Disappointment
Master “Can’t”
Mr. Complainer
Ms. “Never-good-enough”
Fangs, the pessimistic rattlesnake
Hangry, the anger-reminding Hornet
🙈😳☹️🐍🐝 <—– Let’s pretend this is a hornet!!!
SO, this group crashes the best party of the century – – knocking over tables, shoving guests, breaking windows, throwing food, and disrupting the entire scene with their reckless abandonment, careless attitude, and negative ways.
What do we do about it?!?!?!
Do we sit back, watch this demolition derby in our safe space and do nothing? Maybe cry in the corner because we feel powerless to stop it? Or turn the music up louder to drown out the devastation and pretend it’s not happening? Or change who we are by lowering our standards and starting to shove back and start a fight? Will any of these things actually help the situation and the worry/unease that our party guests (and us) are all feeling OR will our resisting-avoiding-shutting-down behavior add fuel to the fire?
Each person on our Party Guest List chooses their own reaction to this unfolding chaos, either in a self-serving way or a fueling-the-disaster way. And after this brief sabotage-filled disruption, our guests band together to get the Negativity Gang out of there!!
And now we are all left with the aftermath of this disaster – – food all over the floor, squished into the carpet; broken glass everywhere; furniture tipped over; drinks spilled and splashed on every surface; and the rattled, anxiety-ridden, saddened, and frustrated emotions flowing out of every single one of us.
It would be silly to just leave this mess, wouldn’t it? And attempt to continue our party, just stepping over the disaster that is EVERYWHERE, in our attempts to continue on as if the destruction from the Negativity Gang never happened…. riiiiiiight?????
(hint, hint……I’m nodding my head ‘yes’…)
OKAY.
Let’s pause this story for just a moment.
⏸
And remove the “YOU AND I” from the guest list. What remains is the house, which is our safe space or our BODY, along with a list of the traits and “names” that resides in each one of us in this house/body. And the Negativity Gang? That is ANY outside, external stressor or force (teensy or ginormous) that comes into our space and our life and creates disruption and unease.
What I have found is that there is waaaay less IMMEDIATE effort needed to just brush the disaster remnants to the corners of the house. To choose a hard-to-find place to sit that isn’t dirty from the splashed drinks and smooshed food. To step over the thrown objects on the floor and to walk around the disarray that is the tipped-over furniture. To continue getting shards of glass stinging the bottoms of our feet every time we walk through our own house because we DO NOT want to deal with the burden of this mess left with us from our own individual Negativity Gang……so we leave it there and do our best to move on.
Yet it all builds up (because the Negativity Gang ALWAYS shows up spontaneously or right on schedule, many, many times….) and we continue the pattern of how we deal with their arrival. Resist, Run, Avoid, Pretend….and so on.
And it gets EXHAUSTING to do all of that side-stepping, avoiding behavior because our house/body is starting to get super overcrowded with crap and it begins to take SO MUCH EFFORT to play the denial game and brush the ever-growing mess away. Way more than stepping back and starting to clean and get rid of the mess, step by step, little by little….
And how do these messy aftermathS (plural) from our Negativity Gangs affect us in the long run? Well, it all potentially starts to manifest in our bodies as pain and inflammation from the overrun debris in the corners of our house/body. It may start to limit our self-confidence, adding major self-doubt OR keeping us small, shrinking, and complacent. And it may make it REALLY hard to feel comfortable in this space (that is our body), inviting even more devastation and potential injuries to take place, (like KNEE INJURIES, in my case), into our life.
Please take a moment and see if you have or feel any self-struggles that continue to follow you and wear you down. I know that I most certainly do.
NOW, let’s head back to the party and the wreck that is our house after the Negativity Gang left their mark:
Watching Scrappy happily running around, sharing his unconditional love despite the mess. Hearing Mr. Let-it-go say “LET IT GO!!” and starting to clean up some of the food on the floor. Having Understanding, Compassion, and Kindness agree with Mr. Let-it-go and help with this cleaning mission. All of our positivity guests join in because they realize that they cannot stop the Negativity Gang from appearing or bombarding the party of life at will. And our friends don’t want to get uninvited from any more life parties: like Creativity, who doesn’t want to disappear because of Fear; or Peaceful, who doesn’t want to become invisible from Hangry, the Hornet…..INSTEAD, they all realize that they can choose how to react: by coming to terms with the mess, cleaning it up, and LETTING IT GO so it no longer has the chance to fester. (Or at least we allow ourselves to start to let it go, with Patience and Open-minded, who are listening to Mrs. Give-yourself-a-break. 😊)
And here is the biggest kicker of all: So many times, we, ourselves, are both the Happy Party of Life, with the positive guest list, AND the destructors from the Negativity Gang. Whether we are creating our own suffering because we subconsciously invited the Negativity Gang to our party. OR we allowed them to show up because we’re so hard on ourselves, ALL OF THE TIME. (That’s a big one for me…) OR we are unable to truly let go of their after-effects so we carry around these shards of glass, leftover from their tantrums, that damage our spirit and we willingly or unwillingly will not let them go….(that one is me, too…..😕)
Whichever one may resonate with you or if there is fourth option that came to mind, we are responsible for what persists and so many times we are the perpetrators in our own lives, creating self-sabotage and the very things that we DO NOT WANT.
🙅🏻♀️❌🙅🏾🛑🙅♀️🚫🙅🏼♂️❌🙅🏽♀️🛑🙅🏻♂️🚫
How would things change if we were nice to ourselves? If we had our own back? If we accepted awful, negative circumstances (or the things that we don’t particularly like about ourselves) AND ALSO applied the same kindness and love to ourselves that we would for a loved one going through the exact same thing?
So we could love every moment of this Party of Life, flow around the Negativity Gang that will inevitably rear its ugly head OFTEN, and always choose freedom, curiosity, and joy over feeling stuck, disturbed, and powerless.
We are unique, special, powerful beings – – when we allow ourselves to see what is already there, inside of us all:
“True belonging requires us to believe in and belong to OURSELVES so fully that we can find sacredness both in being a part of something and in standing alone when necessary.” – Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness.
Now THAT is a level of love and commitment to oneself that I have not mastered yet. It is also a lifelong practice!And as much as I need to do a LOT of house/body clean up, it is a worthwhile work-in-progress, without a doubt. Imagine how things could change for us if we start to move in that direction….
Thank you, Louise Hay.
And thank YOU, my party guests!!!! 🥳 I wish you and your spirit an amazing day, full of wonder, possibility, and deeper awareness about the greatness that is YOU and I and US. 😊
🦋❤️🌏⭐️🐞🌺✨🌞💕🌻🌍🌈🌟🌎❤️