Who needs a mini-break from STRESS of all kinds???? Or maybe a TEN-year+ break, at least, especially from this grand year of 2020 that isn’t quite done yet??
I DO, I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Meeeeeeee, please pick me!! 🙋🏻♀️)
😐
Seriously, I may be losing it.
As in, feeling like the twilight zone has fully arisen and I’m walking around in this thick fog of not understanding WHAT THE F@*# is happening!! Like, questioning, on a daily basis if not HOURLY, if this is actually our reality.
☝🏼Here is my empty chair as I’m lost in this disorienting fog……yes, after I first wildly-tumbled down this large, steep, grassy knoll to my almost-death. This is 2020, after all. And if, say, an alien invasion suddenly showed up to destroy the world, would we really be surprised??
Just add it to the list, right?!?!?!??
In all seriousness, I still have been diligent with my self-provided homework of internal work and self-care, which does indeed help with feeling more centered and focused. But boy, oh boy, has this been fleeting! 😧 Lately, more often than not, I’m left feeling disconnected, heartbroken, disgusted, so very angry, utterly confused, and extremely disappointed. From things happening OUT THERE, in our communities, (that just should not be happening and should not be supported for happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) to things happening, or that have happened, close to me in my personal life.
It’s getting more and more HEAVY and overwhelming, even with attempting to apply strategies for simplifying things and making them “easier to process.” This shitake is not getting easier because it is really hard to process ‘CRAZY.’ And all of the hate, resentment, miscommunication, lack of communication, and total disregard for facts and the REAL truth just baffle my mind and my heart.
And therefore:
IT IS TIME TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD!!! I’m going to tell you some fun stories today, as positive distractions and as a way to smile through the insanity, even for just a moment.
Who couldn’t use a smile or a laugh or something silly right about now???? I shall try to provide all!!!!!! And I could use it, too.
Now, sit back, relax, and read some random stories and stuff because WHY NOT?!?! 😁
SO, I used to joke with my Mom about my poor lil’ knees and wanting her to just go out and buy me a “new knee!” Or two, let’s be honest. From all of the trauma and abuse that they have been through, how great would it be to buy a new knee (or your choice) at the store, make a simple exchange, and BAM!! Easy-squeezey, just like that, and be on our merry way! Who needs surgery, we can just replace all dysfunctional parts at the store!!
Store Clerk: How may I help you today?
Me: Hi! I’m looking for a new left knee, size small. Preferably with a full ACL, a stable meniscus on both sides, and smooth cartilage around the joint. Oh, and a model that is user-friendly and easy to assemble. Thank you so much!
Right?????? How great would that be?!!!
Anyways, replacing my troubled knees like car parts became a more common request and inside joke between my Mom and me. AND if you say “new knee” fast and blend the two words, it becomes “newknee” or “noonee,” right?!?! So, picture me saying “I just want a ‘noonee,’ is that so hard to find?!?!?!”
And then, I found out there is such a thing out there already!!! Though it is called a Nunee, but pronounced the very same!!!! Did you know?!?!? It apparently helps to support and gently lift up the kneecap and help with some anterior knee pain, I believe. 🤷🏻♀️
You can totally look it up and buy a Nunee. Though it’s not as exciting as my vision of a “noonee.”
As soon as I discovered that my inside joke was a real thing, it lost all of it’s amusement! And with it not being funny anymore, I have since stopped jokingly asking for a “noonee.” Even though I still love the (impossible and unrealistic) thought of buying a “noonee” and being done with it!
The end!!!
Such a great story, I know. 🤣
Wanna see something that IS really great? This is my Mom and me! 😍
NEXT!! Quick Story #2: My Mom has a West Highland White Terrier named Noble.
I have featured him on this blog before because he is too darn cute and he was my helpful nurse during my last knee surgery recovery in November 2019.
Wanna know what one of his nicknames is??
Noonie!!!!!!!!!!
I bet you can guess how it’s pronounced….
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
I swear it has nothing to do with my knees, though. It just fits him so well, don’t you think???
Hi sleepy Noonie!!
Moving on……..Quick-But-Fantastic Story #3: Another one of Noble’s nicknames is Nobie. Three years ago, I was asked to play Fantasy Football with my brother, sister-in-law, and some family for the first time ever!!
While I was deciding on a team name, Nobie was misdiagnosed with lymphoma. At the time, my Mom and I were beyond-devastated at this news, not realizing yet that the Veterinarian was incorrect.
SO, for my Fantasy Football team name I chose:
NobieEss
Why????? Because for one, especially when talking to pets, the nicknames get extended with love so I often called Noble: “Nobie-Scobie”……Or Nobie S.
AND if you say “NobieEss” outloud, you will hear:
NO B.S. or No BullShitake!!!!! Which is what I told Nobie about his cancer diagnosis!! Every day I told him that he was strong, healthy, and going to be fine. I also told him that this diagnosis was so untrue and pure crap, AND THEREFORE that he shouldn’t believe it or take any of this B.S.!!!
And that is how NobieEss was created!!!
And you know what?? It DID turn out to be a wrong diagnosis and he’s still going strong to this day!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
AND I won in Fantasy Football for 8 weeks in a row with Team NobieEss, with one of the weeks being the highest total points for the duration of the season, out of all of the teams!!!! (I think it was 185 points, for all of the FF fans out there!!) Of course, my streak was crushed when all of my top players got injured and I ended up in 4th place overall….but I was still super happy with how my first year of playing Fantasy Football turned out!!
Especially because Nobie’s lymphoma diagnosis was proven FALSE, so it WAS total B.S.!!! Hence, the name ‘NobieEss’ was a lucky charm and added to the magic of the miraculous news!!
Go NobieEss/Nobie-Scobie/Noonie!!!!
And to leave you with some eye-rolls, some groans, unimpressed shakes of the head, and/or a laugh or two because they are terribly-awesome………
Here are some “knee” jokes for you to take with you!!! I can’t have a “noonee” but we may as well take a moment to laugh at a few jokes where knees are the stars!
1) I have a DIY Scar on my knee!
It was made from scratch.
😁
Here are my lovely knee scars, taken today:
Even though my scars aren’t the “Do It Yourself” kind. They were courtesy of my surgeons. 😉
2) Why did someone put a party hat on my knee?
Because they were making a funny.
A fun knee…….Yaaaaaay!!!!! Because party hats do add to the fun. 🎉
By any chance, did you do this 🙄 or 😩 or 😒??!!!!!!
😂🤣
Lastly, here is my favorite one!!!!!!!! Ready???
Cuz here it comes………
3) Two doctors are out hiking and the first one trips and cuts his knee really badly on a rock. The second doctor says, “That looks pretty bad. Do you want me to stitch that up for you?” The first doctor says, “Nah, I got it.”
The second doctor responds, “Suture self.”
You GOTTA give this one an A+!!!!!! It’s super good!!! “Suture self” or “suit yourself”……. 👏🏼😂🤗🤣👏🏼😂👏🏼🤣
Did I get at least a few points for this one? ?
Along with the potential eye-rolls and groans, of course. That’s a part of the game and what makes these jokes so great!!!! Or as I like to say, terribly-awesome!!!
Sometimes, all we can do is show love and compassion where we can, strive to be the very best, moral, caring beings that we can be, and continue to believe that wrongs can be made right and good will triumph over evil. Even if it is so hard to see sometimes.
And, when we can, show our support, move forward with understanding and empathy, and…..
give our whole hearts as we smile through the insanity. Like we did from all of the versions of “new knees” and all! Whether you saw them as silly and fun stories that made you smile or as weird and random stories that still made you smile.
😊 Mission accomplished!!!! 😊
Now, GO!!!! And share these fabulous jokes with your family and friends!!! You know you want to…..😉🤗
Oh!!! And please take this with you:
