Prove them WRONG: Part 1

Last year, during a night of Chinese Food enjoyment, I unwrapped a fortune cookie and opened it to find this golden message:

Oh man, when others doubt us or minimize our capabilities, doesn’t this message ring so true when we prove them wrong????!!!

YESSSSSSSS!!!!!

Funny thing, the timing of this reminder couldn’t have been more perfect. It was March 2019, while I was doing my best to prep as much as I could for my thru-hike on the Appalachian Trail, happening at the end of the month. A few weeks before receiving this fortune cookie of knowledge, I had spoken to a wonderful but conservative-risk-taker friend and excitedly told him all about my trail plans. And I could tell that he was less than impressed.

He was most-certainly concerned for my well-being, with me having had zero experience with the whole long-hike/backpacking/camping/wilderness thing. You know, basically being a novice at everything that I was about to do on this trail! Plus ALLLL of my knee injuries thus far, topping off the worry cake with cyanide-flavored icing. So, yes, the concern he had was absolutely valid!!! 🍰

However, my excitement completely deflated when I discovered that he thought it was the worst decision that I could make. Besides all of the reasons mentioned above, my friend basically cautioned me that I would wind up dead or attacked by a fellow hiker if I moved forward with this thru-hike plan.

I mean, I did have clients tell me not to get eaten by bears or fall off any cliffs while I was on trail, but they were only (HALF-) kidding!!

Since falling off of a cliff or getting eaten by bears would be very unfortunate. 😳

I do love my friend for his kind heart and for caring about me and my safety. And, at the time of speaking with him, I fully recognized that it did indeed sound like a massively insane plan, coming from me. Like, how I never expressed any interest in doing ANYTHING like this, never ever, at any point in my entire life. And I see how it makes no sense at all to those who have never heard of the Appalachian Trail because they never/rarely hike; to those who have never desired to attempt a long hike; to those who have never heard the term “thru-hike;” and to those who have never been intrigued enough to research about what a thru-hike entails.

Plus, I get that attempting to hike 2,200 miles before even attempting to hike 5 miles in a row….that was ME!!!!….. may be perceived as being beyond comprehension and understanding. I totally get it!!!!!

Yet, I had wished for my friend’s support and his faith in me that I could triumph during this monumental larger-than-life-for-me adventure. And trust me, he was not the only one that doubted my ability to handle what was necessary to withstand the unpredictable conditions, people, snakes, trail obstacles, and potential surprises on the Appalachian Trail. 🐍

Since I was new here. 👀

And I started completely doubting myself. “How could I pass this up?”, I thought, even as I questioned if the people warning me about “my foolish choice” were right and this was something that I could never do and should never do…….

BUT THEN?!?!?!?!?! Here comes this fortune cookie message, made just for me, it seemed!! And you better believe that I carried that message with me for all 530+ miles on the AT. As a reminder that:

This is something we all need to read and remind ourselves, over and over and over again!! Because it is fact that we, as humans, project our fears and limitations on other people. And sometimes it is sound and wise advice, like “it wouldn’t be wise to jump off of the roof and expect to fly!!” Please listen to that one, always, ‘KAY?????? 😕😉

And other times it only serves to calm the fears or soothe the ego of the sayer, rather than it actually pertaining to us and what we’re about to do. It’s as if the sayer says to themselves, “the sound of this freaks ME out and I would never do this, so I’m going to tell and warn this person about all of the ways that it’s freaking me out….” Seriously, a majority of the time these projected fears and worries from other people have nothing to do with us and everything to do with them!! For instance, this could be the case if someone gets uptight, nervous, and/or all devil’s-advocate-y about us: following our dreams, changing careers, or participating in a mighty feat, perhaps!!

Taking calculated, well-thought-out risks that have the potential to boost our spirit, take us to the next level of greatness, push ourselves to grow and be better, build our confidence, and/or get us closer to every dream/goal/target/vision that we have are COMPLETELY WORTH IT, NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS.

And when it comes to a colossal choice – – and not just a simple choice, like what flavor toothpaste to buy or what shirt should I wear today – – it is imperative that we prepare ourselves for how a choice could go sideways. Because when we strive to be better and we choose to take bigger risks in our lives, that opens us up to the most spectacular, profound, and unforgettable things in life……AS WELL AS to more chances of repercussions, failures, unforeseen consequences, or potential disasters happening, that we must accept alongside our choice.

And yes, I AM saying this because I have a story for you! 🙃

Wanna know a secret??????

Before hiking the Appalachian Trail, I had a half-torn ACL in my left knee for 2.5 years prior. Basically, that means that the stability of my already-hypermobile knee was even more compromised. Red Flag #1– – – 🚩

During that time, I put myself on an intense leg training schedule to keep my legs strong and my knee joints as stable as I could. And I opted for Stem Cell Therapy to strengthen the ACL, too – – a story for another day! And all was going so well and I felt so strong for over a year!!!! UNTIL I lost my mind, forgot that I had a more vulnerable left ACL, (because it was feeling great!!! Ugh!!), and I jumped sideways off of a box without thinking. 😑

Something like this photo below, in terms of a fitness box, but I wasn’t even working out at the time!!! I was actually standing on the box, adjusting straps that were over my head and to the left, just out of my reach…..and instead of calmly stepping off of the box and moving the box over, so I could actually reach the straps, I decided to jump sideways off of the box while continuing to look up at the straps…..

And you are correct!!!! This did NOT go well and I did something awful to my left knee because I felt something twist/shift under the kneecap. Red Flag #2 – – – 🚩

And well…….it was so ridiculously DUMB of me!!!

But this girl is about to land an awesome box jump so I applaud her:

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

By the way, this catastrophic OOPSIES-moment happened one month before leaving for trail!!!! Red Flag #3 – – – 🚩‼️ (OH NOOOO!!!! 😱)

I am nothing if not entertaining!!! With often sucky timing and that is fact… ☹️

Looking back, I had probably injured what was left of my half-torn ACL and it was only a matter of time before it would fully tear. But at the time, I thought (and had hoped) that it was my kneecap that jumped out of it’s groove that day. Even as fluid filled my knee and I ended up with a Baker’s Cyst (a fluid-filled sac behind my knee), which demonstrated that something bad had happened to a structure inside my knee joint.

I did give myself the following month to rest, heal, and attempt to recover. I told myself that if I could run at the end of the month, then I was going to fulfill my destiny on the AT. (Dramatic much??? 😛Though I did feel a huge draw to this trail after all of my hours of research!!!) And if I couldn’t run because my knee was a huge issue, then I would need to seriously reevaluate my trail plan.

And by the end of the month, although the fluid remained, the pain went way down and I was able to run 3 miles without too much of a problem, a few times in a row.

So, as you are well aware, I met my personally-set guidelines, so I went to the AT!!

Part of me knew that, after this poorly-timed mishap with the box, that attempting to hike the AT was a serious risk for the health of my left knee and what was left of the ACL. And the other part of me knew that someday, whether I went on the trail OR I chose to back out of my plan, that I would need another ACL surgery, regardless.

The question became: “Do I have my next ACL surgery after having the most incredible AT journey behind me OR do I have this next ACL surgery without any memories of this epic trail and always wondering what it would have been like?

Well, when I put it like that……It was GO time!!!!!! 🟢

And my more-than-half-torn ACL made it through countless mountains, a few major falls and trips, (I can be a talented klutz!!), and carrying a 30+-lbs backpack over every type of terrain, roots, and rocks that you can think of, for 530+ miles….And then my body started to let me know, via minor injuries like ankle tendinitis, that it was time to get off trail.

Thankfully, I did listen, (after I attempted to keep going and it did not go well, of course!) and about one week later my left ACL completely tore in the comfort of a beautiful home in Minnesota. (Two Ton’s home, for those familiar with my AT stories.) And not on trail, which would have been soooooo disastrous, I can’t even imagine it!!

Even though I did not make it all the way to Katahdin, the grand mountain at the end of the NOBO hike from Georgia to Maine, and claim 2,200 miles walked by foot, I still fulfilled my wonder, added a new dimension to my life, challenged myself beyond anything that I had ever done before, and made the best memories along the way.

And I don’t regret going on my adventure one bit, even if my AT experience concluded with getting off trail and fully-tearing my poor, beaten-up ACL. Especially because I was aware that my choice to still partake in this adventure of a lifetime could have dire consequences for me and my knee….(even if it was a deeeeeeep, deep, deep acknowledgment, that I would never say aloud and that I would deny it’s truth until an MRI proved that it was another dreaded ACL tear…..) I was still as prepared as possible for my AT Trek, physically and mentally, and I made sure to do everything that I could to protect my knee as I hiked.

Maybe you think that I was an imbecile to go on trail after hearing my secret? I won’t blame you if you do. However it turned into the most fulfilling, ultimate adventure of my life so far and something that truly expanded my life, for which I will be forever grateful.

And seriously, rather than regretting my AT experience because of my ACL, I think, “Imagine how far I could have gotten with a full ACL?!?!?!?!” 🧐😁

RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Maybe I would have made it all 2,200 miles on my first-ever hike that was longer than 5 miles!

Of course, I would be amiss to leave out the people in my life that DID support my crazy decision to leave for the Appalachian Trail!!!!!!!!!! To those of you reading this – – my Mom, my Warriors, my friends and my family that saw the value and the “opportunity of a lifetime” within this trek that I was considering – – THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT, ENCOURAGEMENT, LOVE, AND YOUR FAITH IN ME. As I walked this trail and wrote this blog, I felt like all of you were right there with me and we were experiencing it together. In many ways, I made it so far because of all of you. ❤️

And to those who will never understand my decision to go on trail for two months straight, that’s okay, too!! I had MANY people, upon my return and telling them about the AT and what I did during Spring 2019, immediately ask “WHY?” In total confusion and completely mystified as to why anyone would want to do such a thing.

And then it brings to mind this quote:

Sometimes this happens with those that doubt their own abilities, so they doubt our abilities, too, and ask “why?” But then, when they see us persevere, that gives them hope for themselves. And they go from asking “WHY?” to “HOW did you do that?”

And sometimes that is not the case, because it is after we attempted our challenge, and the “I don’t get it….WHY?” is very much present, strong and unwavering. To those people, I say “there is nothing like experiencing something new and outside of our usual thinking, bringing more depth to our life and our soul.” Or, quite frankly, “you had to be there – it was incredible!!” Because I know that my words about my own experience will be meaningless to their ears – – because their “Why” puzzlement is too overpowering.

However, I hope that maybe they remember my little plug about trying something new and it makes them curious down the road to pursue something that is far outside of their comfort zone. And experience something just as magical to the soul as I did when I got to embrace nature for two months straight.

Something to keep in mind – – –

If we find ourselves in a position where fears and limitations are being projected onto us, (it will most certainly happen, time and time again) with regards to something that is incredibly meaningful to us and something that could change our world for the better, how about we remember this:

To them, we say “Buh-Bye”!!!!! 👋🏼 And continue on to triumph, to fail, to grow stronger, and to create a life that makes us proud and fulfilled.

Oh, yeah, and prove those doubters and “you can’t do that” sayers WRONG!!!!! 🙌🏼