I’ve been thinking of situations in my life where I have chosen risk over safety (or diving into the unknown versus working within my comfort zone) AND where it paid off immensely.
The reason this has been on my mind is because of two past conversations that I have had with two separate people over the concept of “risk” – – but both in totally different contexts. And they have stayed with me because my ideas surrounding risk came from a very different place than both of these individuals. And it still does to this day!
Allow me to explain the conversations to you and why their perceptions did not and do not work for me – – as much as I do understand where both of them are coming from!!
Conversation #1 was with a friend of mine, we shall call him Joel, about 2-3 years ago. Joel is a very intelligent man and is excellent when it comes to running his personal training business, sales and marketing, and being devils advocate when it comes to ALL situations, just so he is prepared for as many scenarios as possible.
Now, this conversation took place after my most current torn ACL in June 2019 but before the following two surgeries that took place to correct this issue. And it was when I was waffling between “do I move forward and get two more knee surgeries???” and “the last thing that I want to do is have more knee surgeries.” So, of course I went to chat with my friend, Joel, about his take on the situation because I was curious where his “devils advocate” brain might take him.
So, Joel starts asking me questions about my current abilities with my torn ACL, which were very lacking because of the instability in my knee. No running, no dancing, no jumping, which are the things I really love to do. Then he started asking me about my own confidence with returning to these things I love to do post-surgery (after both of them) and if I believed that I would REALLY be able to do get back to running/dancing/jumping. To which I replied, “well, I honestly have no idea! My knee has gone through two surgeries already, one being an ACL Reconstruction. To have another two surgeries layered on top, including yet another ACL Reconstruction….I have no clue what to expect from my knee after all of that. BUT what I do know, is if I don’t get the surgeries, there is a 100% chance that I won’t be able to do the things I love to do, since I can’t do them now! So, I’m leaning towards surgery.”
To which Joel begins telling me that if I choose surgery, then I should prep myself for things not turning out the way that I hope. In his words, “don’t put all of your eggs in one basket.” He was warning me that if I put my entire being into my recovery and regaining the ability to resume my favorite activities….and then I find out that my body isn’t capable of these things even with the surgeries….well, then I will be destroyed AND ALSO need to figure out a new plan for my life. So, his recommendation was to have a back-up plan so I am a step ahead in case my “surgery comeback plan” backfires. Like, prepare myself for the worst-case scenario so I’m not caught off guard and so I already have a new plan in place for what might be next for me.
And I completely understand where he is coming from!! He was suggesting that I have some type of a safety net so that I don’t free fall and land flat on my face, if I do not reach the level of my ambitions and I can never run/dance/jump ever again. Especially because these are things that I wish for my life and that I want to include in my career, as I teach classes and train clients. So, Joel is right, that it would be severely disappointing if I was unable to make my comeback like I so hoped and that would have the great potential to completely knock me down…..
Even still, here’s what I thought/think about all that:
For me, I have always chosen to put all of my eggs in one basket because I did not want to put my energy and effort into planning for “if and when” I fail. I choose to go forward, all in, as if success is the only viable option. Because it is.
So that I do everything possible towards my comeback and towards my ambitions, with zero excuses and never feeling like, “well, IF it doesn’t pan out, then I have my backup plan….” That doesn’t work for me!!! I don’t want a fallback plan because I don’t want to give myself that reason for doubt or seesawing or for not working as hard as I could or for not fighting when things get really hard. When there’s a backup plan, it is much easier to lose motivation or to give in during a challenge (because you know the safety net will catch you) than it is when all your cards are on the table and you’re doing everything you can to win the game.
It’s like this quote I read from Dr. Perry’s @stopchasingpain on Instagram:
SO, if we don’t fully believe that we can make it to the finish line (or that I can heal successfully and regain the function in my knees) then our minds and bodies will not search for all of the resources available to help us make it there. And THAT might be the reason for our failure or for us not reaching our end goal, and NOT that it was an impossible feat for us. HUGE DIFFERENCE!!!!!!!!!! 🎯
And I mentioned this once before yet I shall recap this story for you! As I was training to be a professional dancer at my university, I had the option of choosing a double major or a minor as a backup plan. You know, in case becoming a professional dancer was unrealistic or unavailable to me, well then, I had another plan in the making as a fallback. BUT I knew that if I had another degree in addition to my dance degree, and I wasn’t able to cut it as a professional dancer, then I would have always wondered if things could have been different – – had I invested all of my focus, time, energy, and effort into becoming a dancer and only a dancer…..rather than splitting my attention between two degrees….could I have obtained my dream of becoming a professional dancer???
I knew there was risk in “only” having a dance degree with zero backup plan; however, I also felt like this risk was worth the price of “feeling safe” with an Option B. I was either going to make it as a dancer….or I wasn’t. And if, after my hundreds and hundreds of hours of training and dedication, I found that I wasn’t cut out to be a professional dancer? Well, there is my answer. No questions and no “what-ifs.” I risked it all, I lost, and then I would know and could move on to something else.
And with this risk came incredible and immeasurable reward because I got to live my dream as a professional dancer for almost 9 years!!!! Because I believed that I could do it and I didn’t and wouldn’t allow ANY distractions to disrupt my focus towards my dreams.
Conversation #2 happened with a physical therapist only a few months ago, in February 2021, when I was searching for the best physical therapist to help guide me through this third ACL Reconstruction recovery.
I had the initial consultation with this physical therapist, we shall call him Bob, where I explained my purpose for being at PT along with my knee history. So, I had just gotten done explaining my very lengthy story about my 5 knee injuries and surgeries and how I was awaiting surgery #6. And Bob simply tells me, “you know you’re never going to dance again, right??” He then proceeds to explain that he has worked with professional dancers before and that he understands how much intensity the knees take on to do the jumps, turns, and choreography that they do. And he tells me “I’m giving it to you straight, your knees will not be able to handle that kind of twisting and turning. If you were my sister, I would be saying the exact same thing…”
So, I’m letting that sink in for a moment until he says “yeah, you won’t be able to return to dance unless you put in years of training. I mean, like 3-5 YEARS, at least!!!”
🤨🤔😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
From Bob’s perspective, he just assumed that I wouldn’t want to train for years and years and that I wouldn’t want to risk putting in that time and energy, since there was no guarantee that even after 3-5+ years that I would be able to dance again. Yet, from my perspective?? I would be training as an athlete anyways, for the next 3-5 (to 50 years!!) so bring it on!!! Bob was using this as a way to deter me from moving in the dance direction when, in fact, he had given me hope that there was a chance!!!
In this scenario, the “risk” would be to move through PT and beyond, continuing to train like an athlete and implementing all the tricks and tools that I knew, and seeing how far I could get. No matter how long it would take because I want to continue to work towards my once elite athletic status for the rest of my life. And the “safety net” would be to get through PT, forget about dance and my big dreams of athletic goals and feats, and only choose the exercises deemed as “safe” for my knees.
And I want to be safe, don’t get me wrong!! I do not wish to get injured again, that is for sure. But I also want to train my weaknesses, my imbalances, my fears, and my hesitations. I don’t want to avoid them, run from them, or pretend they are not there because that is often way more dangerous!! Being present and thoughtfully and consistently training every aspect of my body I can sounds like a much wiser and safer plan so that I am in control of my body as much as possible. And if I can return to some form of dance along the way, how great will that be?!?!?
Needless to say, I did not choose Bob as my physical therapist – – because I was looking for someone that would support me step-by-step and allow me and my body to choose what is possible for me – – and now I am with a physical therapist that walks this recovery path with me, in full support of where I am and what I will be able to do.
Seriously, I did not NEED this last ACL Reconstruction. But without it, it was set in stone that I would never be able to run, dance, jump, do Zumba, or take intense fitness bootcamps for the rest of my life! To me, it was more of a risk to NOT get the surgery because of all the things that I would be giving up without a fight. So, I chose to get this risky revision ACL Reconstruction on my left leg and I made it through successfully and recovery continues to go very smoothly. And I’m in the same position once again: Why would I give up my dreams of running marathons or dancing again without at least trying and giving it everything I got?!?!?!?! Which is exactly what I plan to do for the next 11-ish months of PT and every day thereafter.
I already take this quote to heart and I promised myself that I will follow this for life:
When it comes to playing the safe card and remaining in the comfort zone, I believe there is a time and a place for that. Yet, the other 95% of the time, accepting calculated risks, moving into unknown territory, challenging ourselves to see beyond the lines of the comfort zone…this is where the magic lies because this is where we grow, develop strength we never knew we had, uncover our greatest potential, and actually LIVE the possibilities that are there – – as opposed to just wondering about them and thinking about them.
It’s RISK FOR THE WIN!!!!!!!!!! All we need to do is be smart about this risk, believe in our success and the end goal that we seek, and put our full effort and focus into seeing it all the way through. And WHEN we reach the finish line, that self-rewarding experience is like no other!!!
And then we just prep ourselves to accept and conquer the next challenge and risk that comes our way!!! 😎👊🏽💥‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️