– – – – IT’S NEVER TOO LATE – – – –
This has been a recurring theme for me over the course of my life (and over this decade with my knees!!) because it tends to be a connector for my two mantras: Never give up/All you need to do is try AND Be Your Best Self. Or, at the very least, it serves as an enticement to keep on going, even when/if we feel like we’re in a losing battle.
What if I asked, “what are the reasons that people, (that we…), would use to stop something, to quit, and/or to throw in the towel?”
Or towels, PLURAL, in this case…. 😉😜
Often, it is because we feel like we’re too far gone already, that there’s no hope or no use, OR because we feel like it’s too late so why even bother….
Similar answers could be given to the question “why don’t you or why didn’t you even try to do ________<—– [Whatever that might be]?? Maybe because we feel stuck, because we believe that “we can’t do it” or that it’s not going to change even if we did try, OR because of the dreaded “It is what it is…”
The latter item, “It is what it is,” more often than not, prevents us from taking action towards creating something MORE than “what it is.” Those of you who know me are aware that I am not a fan of that saying because, to my ears, it sounds so limiting and yes, with saying it we ARE accepting our circumstances……ALONG WITH a big side order of “defeat” and “whatever🙄” and “it’s not like I can do anything about it.” In my opinion, this makes it easier to stay stuck in the mud rather than find alternative routes around the mud pit.
I know, I know, lots of people use this saying and perhaps it does provide a bit of comfort, acceptance of the present, or acknowledgement that this is just the way that it is…..but does that make them completely stop there or do they acknowledge and then look for something far better and actually fulfilling rather than staying with “what it is.” As much as Eeyore is a lovable character, he is always so sad and he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. Many times, I picture his face when I hear someone say “it is what it is.”
Hey! If this is something you use and it serves a useful purpose, by all means use it, of course!!!! I just invite you to also keep going, look beyond it, and to never allow it to keep you stuck in Eeyore’s footprints.
Now, I bring up the phrase “It’s never too late” today because I have two beautiful examples of why this is so true. And they both happened over the past week. 💫💖
Before I get to these prime examples, let’s first take a quick look at other ways that “It’s never too late” can help facilitate areas in our lives where we may feel stagnant, stuck, plateaued, or lacking motivation to try something else/new/different.
First, it is true that habits are so hard to break BUT that they are NOT impossible to break and to change. The process to swap habits requires understanding and compassion, realizing that the initial habits have been useful for us at one point and now maybe they have lost their purpose and are hindering our progress. Accepting this fact in a loving way, rather than a loathsome way, makes it much easier to move towards a new and healthier habit.
It is also imperative to realize that this 💩 is HARD!! That change is hard and it requires a lot of effort and patience, especially if we are trying to shift a habit that has been practiced repetitively for years and therefore it has been in place for so long. We will stumble, we will struggle, we will backslide, and we will fail – – quite possibly a little bit of each and multiple times. The most important part is the getting back up, brushing off the dirt, and asking “what’s next?” Because we know that staying on the same destructive path will be detrimental to our health and/or to our mental/emotional state. The benefits of continuing on, through the struggle for change, far outweigh what could happen if we keep going down that same destructive path. That is a certainty. 💯%
Besides, if we have truly outgrown a habit OR we realize that significant parts of our lifestyle must change in order to improve our quality of life, then adopting the “whatever it takes” position will keep our sights held high towards the direction that we wish to go.
I think about anyone who hasn’t worked out or moved their bodies in years and who have lived a sedentary lifestyle for a very long time. I think about the people who have let their nutrition fall by the wayside and their weight has grown significantly. I think about anyone living in chronic pain, constant body aches, and/or troublesome symptoms that are just trying to make do and live with these conditions…..
To anyone experiencing one or more of the list above: It is NEVER too late to start making the tiny millimeter choices that take you on a new and better serving path. You are worth it, you deserve better, and it is possible for you. No matter how “off the wagon” you feel that you are, no matter what your body has been through and the ailments it has suffered, no matter how old you are and what other people your age are or are not doing…….the time is now and it is possible for you to take back control of your life – – of your choices, your health, and/or the autopilot behavior that we all have from our practiced habits.
It always starts with being aware of what is no longer working, recognizing what you would change if you had the power, seeing that you do have the power to make it happen, and then committing yourself to trying to move millimeters at a time towards those things. Not holding yourself to perfection standards but rather to trying your absolute best each day, accepting the inevitable fails and frustrations, and staying the course so that you’re consciously moving towards what you really want.
Along similar lines, if you or someone you know DOES have a solid nutrition plan or DOES move and try to workout or who DOES try to help their bodies through chronic pain….and they still experience eating a bag of potato chips in one sitting OR losing the motivation to work out and stopping for a long period of time OR losing faith that their body will ever be able to feel better? This is our prior habits and old belief patterns that are stopping in to say “hey!” It happens to the very best of us and to the vast majority of us! Sliding off track and having progress move in a line like this…..
…..like a big freakin’ mess and the furthest from a linear line like this: ____________ ….. is generally the norm of change and growth of any kind! KEEP GOING!!!
Truly, it’s so important to affirm the “whatever it takes” mentality, to realize that it’s never too late to get our wheels back on track and working properly, (no matter how many times they fall off), and to keep searching for the tiny actions and tidbits that work for us AND keep us moving towards our brightest and most meaningful destinations.
As tricky as it may be sometimes, we must try our very best to enjoy the WILD ride of change (like the photo above!!) and all of the excitement, good and not-so-good, that will surely join us along the way. Because having the wild ride in the first place is always better than never trying, being miserable in the present, and then looking back years from now and wishing that we had at least tried something new to help ourselves.
^ This is a trick, really. Because the only answer you can pick is NOW because it’s never too late, so the NEVER doesn’t even exist……
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😁
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Secondly, it is never too late to follow your dreams, to think bigger than BIG, and to set new goals and targets. If there is something that you have always wanted to do – – that doesn’t cause harm or hurt another being, of course – – then make a plan to give yourself that gift!! Or at least allow yourself to get as close as possible to that dream, goal, or target. If you never try to get there, then there is 100% accuracy that you will never arrive. Yet, if you make the effort and muster the determination and the dedication to get as close as you can, then who knows? You may even go beyond what you thought was possible for yourself!!!!!!!! You’ll surprise yourself in ways that you could never even imagine.
Looking back on our life and it’s magnitude, regret often appears at the moments that we didn’t show up, that we didn’t take the risk, that we didn’t try, and that we didn’t have faith in ourselves to succeed. And remember, success and reaching dreams are also very non-linear, with lots of potential crashing and burning on the side….and possible epic flames!! 🔥🔥 The key is to have your own back, through the epic fails, and hold onto the faith in yourself and in your abilities to get there one day – – whether it is tomorrow or it is decades away….
Because, seriously, sometimes it may take YEARS to fulfill something that has been on the top of our wish list. One of my favorite stories about this has to do with my Aunt Betty. When she turned 90 years young, we had a party for her. And at this birthday party, where family and friends were present, we gave her a gift that floored her and brought tears to her eyes. We contacted the appropriate officials and gave her a high school graduation, with the official diploma and everything! Something that she had always wanted and had regretted never being able to fulfill.
At age 90, my amazing Aunt Betty’s dream had come true! Which means that dreams can come true any time, at any age, wherever you are, if you just believe in the magic of your dreams and the speakings of your heart. It is never too late!!
Lastly, allow me to tell you my two fantastic stories of the week that completely encapsulate how it’s never too late for apologies and for love!!!!!!!
STORY #1: MY APOLOGIES
Have you ever looked back at something that you did or something that you said, (or both), and the level of regret is palatable? Like, you did something hurtful or foolish to someone and that shame courses through your body and you know with every fiber of your being that this person deserves a gigantic, heartfelt apology……and yet, something stops you from calling this person and offering these words of remorse….
Well, I was in this predicament since 2017. I did something unintentionally hurtful and harsh to a friend and someone who means a great deal to me. And ever since that situation, our relationship had drastically changed. No more phone calls or texts, except maybe twice per year on a holiday or a birthday. And if I did contact this person, the responses would be colder and more abrupt. I knew that I owed this person a serious apology but I kept getting stuck at : What if my apology isn’t received well and I’m not forgiven? What if I say the wrong thing and I make things worse? What if this person doesn’t want to hear from me in the first place and doesn’t care what I have to say?
Ohhhh, the fun “what if….” game, right??
So, I don’t reach out. And the time continues to pass, so of course the “what if” questions gain even more leverage and I feel even worse for letting that much time go by without extending this apology. It’s like a vicious cycle that I’m having with myself and I’m getting nowhere fast!
Finally, over three years later and over this past weekend, I decided NO MORE!!!!!!! This person is incredibly important to me and no more time can pass without this apology being said. No matter what he says, if he doesn’t forgive me, if he hangs up on me, if he screams at me, and if it goes as poorly as possible…..this person deserves my apology and that will be enough. Because it’s not about me and how I will feel, it’s about him and it is on me to make things right.
So, I take some deep breaths, put on my big girl panties, and I call my friend….
….and it went better than I could have ever expected. Because he said these words to me: “It’s never too late for an apology.” Hence, the title of this post and this theme of the day because it was SO meaningful to me and to my heart. ♥️
I was so worried that I had forever ruined our relationship – – that which began in 2012 – – and then my lack of an apology over the last three years would have sealed in the negativity. And I would never be able to make it up to him, because an apology wouldn’t be enough…
And yet, my friend made it so clear that initiating the phone call, being vulnerable, putting myself out there to make amends, caring about him more than myself, and finally saying my full, wholehearted apology to his ears was received and truly appreciated. My heart burst with joy from the conversation that followed and it was absolutely, without question, the best decision that I made.
If you find yourself in a similar situation to me and you’re avoiding a hard conversation, please remind yourself that it is never too late for an apology or for kind words. Do realize that it may not go as well as mine did and that the other person may not be ready and willing to hear your words at this time…..However, regardless, if you know with your whole heart that this person is owed an apology, then it deserves to be said and the conversation deserves to be opened. It may bring closure for both you and for this person, whichever way the cards fall.
STORY #2: LOVE IS IN THE AIR
This story is near and dear to my heart because it has to do with my Mom, the most significant person in my life.
Now, I could write for a REEEEEEALLY long time about my amazing Mom and the things that she has been through…but I shall do my very best to keep it short and sweet.
My Mom got divorced from my father five years ago. Perhaps a story about my father will come at a later time but all that needs to be said is my father is a narcissist. And it is impossible to have a true relationship with a narcissist because they lead through fear, power trips, anger, and always keeping their partner unsettled and isolated. They are unhealthy to be around, which is the understatement of the century.
In order to survive in those circumstances, my Mom had to harden her shell for protection and therefore she had to become a shell of herself. No more real smiles and genuine laughs, and no more energy to try to be herself and love life the way that she wanted….
Well, fast forward to the present! My Mom got remarried through Justice of the Peace this past Monday!!
I did write a post about Mac, titled “Lessons à la Mac” in case you would care for a bit of a back story on this remarkable gentleman….but Mac is the complete opposite of my father. He treats my Mom with love and respect; he listens to her with admiration; he embraces her energy, her independence, and her ambitions; he loves her unconditionally; he loves making her laugh and seeing her smile; he gives her the space to be herself and everything that means; and he supports and encourages her to always reach for the stars. 🌟
Because of the love, kindness, compassion, and companionship of Mac, my Mom’s vibrancy became rejuvenated, her incredible smile returned, and her genuine laughs re-emerged. She is her genuine self and she is at peace in a mutual relationship where both partners lift each other up and their love carries them to new heights of happiness.
It is never too late to find the love of your life that treats you the way it should be or how it always should have been. And I could not be more ecstatic for my gorgeous Mom!!! It was an honor and a privilege to stand beside my Mom as she married a man who loves her, respects her, and values her to the full extent of what “love, respect, and value” truly embody.
AND I am elated for myself as well because now I have an official Stepdad that leads with love and understanding. For me, ever since Mac came into my life, I learned that it is never too late for a father figure to appear and show me the ease of conversation, the kindness, the connection, and the heart that always should have been there in the first place.
AREN’T THOSE SUCH UPLIFTING AND FEEL-GOOD STORIES??!!??!!??!!??!!
💖♥️💙💗🧡💖💜💚💛💝🤎💙♥️💖
When in doubt, remind yourself that it is NEVER TOO LATE to make a change, shift a habit, make a phone call, make amends, open your heart to love, and take millimeter steps forward towards your dreams/goals/targets.
That it is NEVER TOO LATE for you to be better, do better, and feel better NOW and all that is required is that you try and open your heart to the possibilities available.
Where do you want to be??? Trust yourself, have faith in yourself, dance over and around the minefields, and go towards THAT. No regrets!!
💃🏼🌪🌠💣 🕺🏿☄️✨💣 💃🏻🌅💥💫🕺🏼💣🎇