We are OVER 11 months into 2020…..
…with less than a month to go until a brand new year and all of the possibilities that go with it! For many people, this countdown is REAL! Like, it couldn’t be any more real and they were ready 6 months ago (or even longer than that…) to press the ‘FAST-FORWARD’ button and leave the shenanigans and turmoil of 2020 behind….
As much as I do not want to wish my life away, I feel very ready, with high anticipation, for the mental, emotional, spiritual, and physiological refresh that a new year can offer. I mean, 2020 HAS been a combination of good, bad, and hideously insidious. And most of us, if not all of us, had zero detection exactly a year ago that we would have this level of pandemonium, this scale of fatalities, and such an array of changes that have turned us upside-down, over the span of this year.
My friend, Jonah, posted this yesterday:
He’s so funny!! And Jonah IS making an accurate observation. It’s definitely harder this time around to make New Years resolutions, future plans, and preparations to “own our year and get things done,” when so much is still up in the air. Who knows what 2021 will bring, right?!?! (A monumental change in the best direction possible for you and me and our community, hopefully….yes, I just sang in rhyme to you right now…😁🎶)
As much as most of us are not Fortune Tellers and seers of the future, we DO know what 2020 has brought into our own lives thus far. We have felt the effects. We have experienced the many calamitous and arduous moments and embraced the positive highlights. We have seen what has worked and especially what has NOT worked for us, both individually and personally AND as a whole – – in terms of family, community, state, nation, world…as “larger than life” of a view that you wish to take!
What we can do is look forward to continuing on the path that is pointed in the direction in which we would like to go, like with the things that have been working, and do more of those things!!! We can make the choices and the changes in our own lives that actually serves us and that best serves the people around us and with whom we associate.
In my humble opinion, it’s really all about the self-micro-changes that we choose, tweak, and build upon every day, so that every day we put our best self forward. So that every day we feel a certain sense of accomplishment from the time, effort, attention, and consideration that we put into ourselves, which can just be minutes a day. And please remember, I’m not just talking about working out, healthy habits, and meditating. Being kind to ourselves and building on that kindness is KEY!!
For example, it could be setting aside time for: a delightful hot shower OR taking deep breaths OR finding a quiet space for yourself for 5 minutes OR doing something you love OR listening to your body and doing THAT…OR just giving yourself permission to rest for 5 minutes without the list of “shoulds” that often runs through the mind. Just tiny bits of effort to be more in-tune with ourselves and be the Chief Assistant, or the VIP aide, for our mind, body, and soul. So we can fall asleep each night knowing that we are doing everything we can to help ourselves little by little, because this is where we have the control and the power.
And this awareness, kindness, and self-love continuously creates and releases good energy into your life and into the Universe. Hey, if someone is in a great mood, we can feel it, and if someone is angry and in a bad mood, we will surely know, even if these people say nothing and are on the other side of the room. It’s body language AND it’s their energy. Remember, everything we are and everything we think and everything we touch and everything that is invisible to the naked eye….is ENERGY. So, why not work on that energy inside our own being so that it positively influences the choices we make and the results we get, and this affects other beings, near and far, too. Again, the “larger than life” mentality. The world needs us to show up with our best, fullest, kindest, most authentic self. And carry that awareness, that authenticity, that kindness, and that momentum into this next year.
What would it take for us to start off 2021 with the “ready for anything” attitude and choose to continue the search for possibilities, solutions, silver linings, better choices, and self-acceptance for wherever we find ourselves amidst the chaos, no matter what is happening? To prevent the blinders and the negativity parade from setting up shop in our minds and our perspectives and instead vow to always find something ELSE. Whatever it might be.
My papa always used to say “what you’re searching for is always in the last place that you look.” So brilliant!!! Cuz when you find it, there’s no reason to keep looking, yes???
SO, with that being said, if throughout 2020 you haven’t found the solution or the answer to a question or the silver lining or a new possibility YET, then perhaps you should keep on searching! Because it’s there, you just haven’t found it yet because clearly you haven’t gotten to the last place that you need to look….🥸
Along the same lines, here is another one of my favorites:
A.K.A. Keep going and never give up until you have found what you are searching for! If turning right hasn’t been working, then maybe turning left will offer something different! Or maybe choose looking up, down, diagonal, sideways, eyes closed, upside-down….you get the point! ✨
P.S. This quest to be our best selves? That desire to grow, to know ourselves – inside and out, to gain skills, to be versatile, to smash goal after goal, and conquer target after target….well, that can be a “lifer mission.” Which means that we appreciate the journey, congratulate ourselves for the checkpoints we pass along the way, AND that our search for reaching our full potential never, ever stops. For many of us, this mission is what makes us feel alive, gives us incentive to push past our own barriers, motivates us to keep striving when others might choose to quit, and it feels good and is self-rewarding to work on being the most bulletproof version of ourselves that we can be.
I believe that’s a pretty awesome quest to dedicate yourself to pursuing. And super badass. 😎
Alright, so there is something that I feel I must say before continuing on with this post. This blog of mine? This one that you’re reading right now and most of my prior posts? They are a collection of my thoughts and findings from my point of view, my research, my readings, my wonders, my own experiences, and all the ideas that sprout up from these many things. I do my very best to practice what I recommend and to follow the advice that I share from brilliant beings and the powerful information that I uncover…Yet, I do acknowledge that a lot of this stuff is waaaay easier said than done. And I struggle with a lot of the things that I say and the concepts that I write about. For example, like when I say something like “Let’s try to be kinder to ourselves…” WHOA, can that be seemingly impossible when things are falling down around us and it’s easiest to blame/hate/shame ourselves!! And I am and have been, without fail, my harshest critic and it is a PROCESS to break self-destructive thoughts like this, that have been in place for decades. Maybe you are similar to me in this way.
I have said this many times before: Awareness is always the first step. Nothing can happen and nothing can change if you don’t realize it’s there and therefore that it CAN change. With this being said, this blog is meant to create that awareness for both you and me. And it is also meant to serve as a reminder that we’re not stuck and that we are stronger and more capable than we often realize. So that we start to be more aware of the thoughts we’re thinking and how they are affecting our life. So that we’re aware of what else is possible. So that I can talk out my thoughts, my ideas, my dilemmas, my injuries, my confusion, and my story and hopefully find useful tips, motivation, inspiration, and solutions that resonate with the both of us. So that we feel encouraged to open our hearts and our sights to expand further and further, rather than closing ourselves off and limiting what we can see, do, and experience.
I am not always so great at the wonderful advice and ideas that I advocate to you on this blog. I fail miserably at many of them, over and over again. But you better believe that I try every single day to be at least one millimeter better at as many of these things that I can. That when I fail, I get really, super-sonically mad and frustrated with myself!!!!!!!! But then I reset and try again, knowing that I’m learning as I go and that one of these times I AM GOING TO GET THERE.
How do I know?
Because I am one of those “mission lifers,” on a quest to be my best self every day, which will continue over the course of my whole entire life.
I don’t know if this is a real thing or what exactly I am advertising here, but I LOVE this idea:
What a stupendous name, right??? MAMBA MENTALITY……yes, thank you, I would like to be a part of this mental club. 🤗
For me, this means focusing on one millimeter or more of progress in one or more areas of my life every single day. So, no matter how many times I fail and fall on my face, I will get up and keep trying. Every fail gets me closer to where I want to be…unless I stop trying, which I have already promised myself that this cannot and will not happen. I believe there is always a way.
Plus, I believe in myself. I believe that I can eventually get to my destination as long as I don’t give up when things get inevitably disastrous. And I believe in outside-of-the-box thinking where not everything follows the book and the statistics and not everything is simple, linear, and compact enough to fit inside a box.
Sometimes, things get reeeeeal messy, with curve balls and explosions, and it takes creativity and otherworldly brain power to figure out how to duck, cover, and break through to the other side. Sometimes, the box does NOT help and it actually begins to hurt because we’re being shoved somewhere that isn’t working. Therefore, sometimes we must carve our own path to victory and success, even when others tell us that it isn’t possible and even if we’re working on this path all alone.
Recognizing that you don’t fit inside this box of “ideals” or “normal protocols” is HUGE and so significant. And making actions to look outside of the box and find what DOES work is so worth it because at least we are making tiny steps forward, closer to where we want to be, instead of being pushed and stuck in this box where nothing can change and ever get better.
I hope you believe in yourselves or begin practicing seeing and acknowledging your intuition and your truth. To trust yourself and what you know, deep within you. To practice listening to that masterful voice of inner wisdom, like what was suggested for me by this fortune cookie:
It’s so important – – thank you, fortune cookie!! – – and I am trying with all of my might to listen to my own inner wisdom…
SO, story time!!!! I met with an orthopedic surgeon last week, to discuss my knee MRI’s (both knees were imaged) and where I go from here, in terms of potentially getting a second left knee ACL Reconstruction.
And apparently both of my knees are a mess!! Shocking, right? I mean, my left knee has been missing an ACL for 18 months which means that my right knee (and my whole body) has been compensating in all of its typical and atypical ways….because that is what the body naturally does….Not to mention that my right knee went through lots of abuse during the recovery of an ACL Reconstructive surgery that lasted an entire year AND that I am five knee surgeries in and awaiting one more. So, yes, I am aware that my knees have been through an exorbitant amount of crap. 💩
Needless to say, I have the start of arthritis in the medial parts of both knees, as shown in my X-rays and MRI’s. So, at my appointment, this wise and knowledgeable doctor said that getting another ACL Reconstruction is really hard on an already compromised knee, of which I am well aware. He also said, no less than three times, that in 30 years I am not going to be able to walk due to all of the arthritis and osteoarthritis that will have formed in my knees. And he repeated this statement as FACT, like he was looking into the future and seeing me hobbling around or being permanently laid up, 30 years from now…..
Okay, ” Fortune Tellers” that do not own crystal balls and tarot cards and who do not have futuristic superpowers where they can scroll 30 years into the future and witness the happenings, this is what I have to say to you: There is no way for you to KNOW that and therefore I do not agree with the vision you have about MY life and MY future. And yes, I am speaking in regards to this doctor, that I really like, that I really trust, and that I really respect for his surgical expertise….but for him to say that I will be cripple in 30 years as if it is a FACT gives me tons of ammunition to prove him so wrong!!
Let me take a breath…
Much better. Things like this get me so heated!!! Grrrrrr…..
Taking it from the top, I do see where my doctor is coming from. I realize that many people who have gone through the amount of surgeries and issues that I have gone through have experienced arthritis and cartilage damage as they get older. And that arthritis, bone-on-bone, knee replacements, and so on, is incredibly common for the older population, especially when knee issues and knee pain have been persistent in their lives for years. Like, it’s almost expected that knees get destroyed by the time we reach a certain age, be it anywhere from 50 to 100 years old. This idea that getting older automatically means that we’re destined for pain, immobile joints, and wheelchairs. This is not always the case and I choose to believe that wherever you are in the age spectrum and whatever you are experiencing, it can get better. Period.
So, here is where I begin to question things. I know people in their 50’s who suffer with knee pain, who need gel shots every 6-9months, who have had at least one knee replacement…..and they never injured their ACL’s or went through the amount of knee surgeries that I have. And they have major arthitis and damage that they have been fighting and dealing with for years!!!! Did some doctor tell these people that “in 30 years you will have these issues?” AND if a doctor did give a warning that these individuals were headed for knee replacements and gel shots for the rest of their lives, then did these individuals look into and apply EVERYTHING that they could in order to halt or inhibit their doctor’s projection? Or did they just accept the doctor’s viewpoint, take no real further action except maybe what is in the box, and allow the doctor to be proved right?
All I know is there are people that I know who are suffering with major knee issues in their 50+ years of age without having gone through ANYTHING like I have gone through. So, is multiple surgeries the culprit for major arthritis/osteoarthritis in the future or could there possibly be more to the story?
I, of course, believe that there is more to the story. I believe that putting in the effort to correct and change our posture and our alignment helps the body heal and age with grace and full mobility. I believe that as we age, many people choose to move less, which is detrimental to the tissues and organs in our body that require movement. I believe that people want simple and quick fixes and anything else that may take some time is immediately off the table…even if that is the answer that they have been longing for. I believe that many people wait for pain to get so out of control before they choose to seek help…instead of being proactive and doing things for the body before it reaches that point. I also believe that many times people do not know what to do or how to help themselves, even if they want to do so, so they stop looking or maybe they don’t even start in the first place.
Trust, I realize that my knee injuries will be a factor for me for the rest of my life. However, because I am AWARE of all of these items above AND willing to do whatever it takes to find my answers AND that I will never stop moving, keeping my legs strong, and staying on top of my posture and my alignment…..well, I feel like I am at an advantage that could very well help my future self be running and staying active 30 years from now!
With a half-torn ACL, I walked/jogged the Chicago Marathon in 2017. Now I would like to train and run a marathon with two working knee ACL’s!!!!
My viewpoint is also this:
If I am destined to be crippled in 30 years, then that probably means that my knees will be incredibly painful and unhappy, that I will be unable to do what I love like running, dancing, jumping, and taking/teaching fitness classes, and that I will have major restrictions on what I can do in my daily life.
And here’s the thing, I am basically experiencing all of those things NOW, as in, in this present moment. I’m unable to do what I love, like go running, dancing, jumping, teaching/taking fitness classes, and participating in high impact activities. I’m not in pain but it does make me unhappy that I am restricted in these ways because I physically cannot do them due to my missing ACL.
AND knowing that I have already had five knee surgeries, wouldn’t I be destined for my “crippled future” NOW, whether I move forward with my 6th knee surgery and my third ACL Reconstruction or not?? So what do I have to lose? At least I will get 30 more years of running, dancing, and fun intense classes before the full extent of this “arthritis” sets in, right??
Choosing not to get the surgery, as traumatic as it will be for my poor knee that has already been through this process before, makes no sense to me. I would really like to train for a marathon. I would really like to hike another mountain or even go back to the Appalachian Trail and finish what I started. And I would really like to teach classes, do my personal training, and work with my clients without worrying about my ACL-less knee. Choosing to not get this surgery NOW for the slightest possibility that in 30 years, I maybe will have damaging osteoarthritis is the surest way to minimize my happiness in the present moment. Again, this doctor is not a Fortune Teller, my fate is not sketched in stone, and there are many things that I can do so I have the best chances to thwart this “I will be crippled” projection. And that is what I shall do!
But of course things are getting interesting so when I say surgery “now,” I mean as soon as I possibly can. Due to COVID growing exponentially again, elective surgeries are being put on hold again starting this Friday. Therefore, I have another appointment with my orthopedic doctor in mid-January to check in, see where the COVID numbers are and how it’s impacting things, and move forward accordingly. Most likely, my surgery will be in February 2021, if not in the early Spring.
STILL, I will still choose to move forward with my ACL Reconstruction when the timing is right so that I have every possible chance of returning to the things that I love, for as long as I possibly can. I believe that healing is possible for me.
Because GUESS WHAT??????? From my left knee MRI, it appears that my torn meniscus was able to heal on it’s own!!!! So, between now and my surgery next year, what else can I do to make sure that my knees keep healing and getting stronger? So when my surgeon actually sees the inside of my knee, he thinks “oh, it’s not as bad as I expected!!!!???” That is my plan, and like I said about the words of my non-Fortune-Teller doctor, I look forward to proving him wrong and making him think twice about what he believes about my body’s ability to heal, resist, and persist.
If you have non-Fortune Teller people in your life, telling you their views and opinions on your future, please consult with our fortune cookie message from earlier and check in with your inner wisdom!! Trust what it says. Realize that the future is in your hands, not theirs.
Without a doubt, while I wait for this surgery, every day I will be focused on implementing the Mamba Mentality and stay dedicated to the self-micro-changes that I can make to best help my body flourish through this insanely-hard surgery and recovery in 2021. So that I can continue to fall asleep at night feeling comforted by my best efforts that I am doing everything possible to help me move forward. As in, exhausting every idea, notion, and resource to find more of the puzzle pieces that will help me.
And as crucial as these factors are for me and the success of my knee in terms of this surgery and my long recovery, I will also be dedicated to these ideals and this mentality as I move forward beyond 2021 because…. “lifer mission,” you know?!?! To stay in-tune with mind/body/soul, move and live with kindness, and be the best version of ourselves that we can every day. ♥️
Remember, it is time! To get our minds right and vowing now to be READY FOR ANYTHING in 2021, no matter what and no matter what happens. And to:
To remind ourselves that “what we are searching for is always in the last place that we look” and that it can pay off in glorious and unimaginable ways when we think outside the box. 🤔🤩😊😁😃
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