My Mom said something to me the other day that made me smile and also reminded me of a powerful podcast that I listened to a few weeks ago. She said:
“No one trains harder every day and works out every day like you do. It’s impressive!”
She’s the best. Wanna see a great professional photo of my Mom and I from December 2020?????
📸 Ron Zito
My Mom gave me this photo, taken from her wedding day, on my birthday and I just love it (and her!!!) so much!! My Mom is so gorgeous. 😍
In any case, my Mom is my biggest fan and I’m so lucky to have her in my corner. She will support me and cheer me on, no matter what crazy thing I’m doing.
Like prepping for another knee surgery!!!
However, even if I weren’t prepping for this next ACL Reconstruction, I would still be training, doing alignment work, working out, doing Yoga, and/or moving in some way every single day!
Why?????
Because I feel best when I’m active. Because I loving moving and challenging my body through fitness and fun activities. Because I want to build up my weaknesses so that one day they can become my strengths. Because the many injuries and surgeries that I have faced REQUIRE ME to continue to move OR to suffer the consequences of my body tightening up, my lymph stagnating, my joint and spinal range of motion diminishing, and arthritis potentially setting in more and more….
Which works well for me because I love to move and exercise so I would be doing it anyways, even if I suffered zero injuries and it wasn’t a self-requirement!!! 😄
Just practicing some backbends!!!!
I must say, though, having these knee injuries is incredibly exhausting. It has been 7+ years with injuries yet I have been striving for the past 5+ years to overcome these recurring patterns….only to find myself facing yet another injury and then yet another surgery. I did everything asked of me during all rounds of Physical Therapy and STILL, it was not enough to prevent more knee disasters.
What was I doing wrong?????? That was the original question that I asked myself, over and over again. Because CLEARLY there were things that I wasn’t doing “right!!!” Or so I thought. However, what if I WAS doing everything right, I just was also missing key pieces to this 5,000-piece recovery puzzle. 🧩
Rather focusing solely on what’s “wrong,” without seeing the full picture, I changed my question to “what are the gaps in all of my recoveries that are creating these results?” So that my sights would move from “what’s wrong” to “what awareness must I create moving forward?” And that has been a game-changer.
So, despite my knee injuries being extremely depleting in every sense of the word, they have also given me a level of awareness and knowledge of the human body that I never would have acquired had it NOT been for these detrimental injuries. Because they pushed me to look beyond Physical Therapy, which is often so “symptom” driven, and find innovative and outside-the-box genius people and resources that look at the entire body.
From these people and resources, I have learned how injuries change and affect the whole body and not just the site of injury. TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE FULL BODY BECAUSE IT ALL WORKS TOGETHER, ALWAYS. Which then led me to understand that if the entirety of the body is not addressed and accounted for, (head-to-toe-body, mind, and spirit) then the most vulnerable parts of the body have the highest chances of injury and re-injury. Over and over and over again. Hence, my knee injury loop that I have been on because the focus had been primarily on just my knees. And now, years later, I see the full picture because of these numerous rollover injuries and I understand how to fill in the gaps from my previous recoveries.
A big silver lining to having five knee surgeries under my belt, you see. I am now as fully prepared as can be with my much-needed ammo of knowledge to undergo surgery #6.
From here, I have my sights on competitively training and fiercely running my first marathon in two years(-ish) from now. Something I have always wanted to do. Which means that I need to listen to my body and do the work that I need every single day until my next ACL Reconstruction, being as prepared as possible to undergo this procedure – – in 23 days including today. And focusing on the fully body, the mind, and the spirit means that it is easy to work on SOMETHING every single day cuz that’s a lot of stuff!! Which is why I train daily and why my beautiful Mom mentioned my “workout dedication” the other day!
THEN, I need to move through my post-surgery rehab with this same body-mind-spirit awareness, determination, trust in myself and my experiences, and ungodly patience for this very long-term healing and retraining process. And as I move through this next year of recovery, I can implement all of the research, resources, and insights that I have gained over the years and eliminate the gaps that previously destroyed my progress. I get to use my own mistakes as “what not to do” and I now have a very full perspective on ALL of the layers of recovery that need to be addressed in order for me to be lastingly successful.
I wish recovery was simple like pancake layers….it’s really not…..regardless, the aim is to build the best foundation, incorporate the critical layers, and have them all work together so the outcome is a stacked and sturdy masterpiece that looks great!! 😋🥞 See, we can find inspiration ANYWHERE if we’re willing to look for it!! Yummy pancakes…..😉😆
And do you know what this whole 7+ years of recurring injuries has really taught me? That there is no quick fix and there is no “getting over” these injuries and “leaving them behind.” It’s impossible and to hope for this outcome is unrealistic and sets us up for disaster. I know this to be true because that used to be what I hoped for – that surgery would “fix me” and I could move on afterwards like nothing happened. That was very incorrect!!!!
Instead, I now understand what my injuries mean. That I have changed knees, and therefore a changed BODY (because remember, it is all connected) that now requires constant attention, like strength work, posture work, body awareness work, and mobility work. MAJOR EFFORT. And this is for LIFE. My body now needs this extra love every day to see clearly, to remain in its optimal alignment, and to function at its best. And being steadfast and self disciplined to myself in these ways ensures that I can finally clear this massive hurdle in my life. So that I can move forward AND have my risk of re-injury spiral down as low as possible.
Now, I know that I mentioned a podcast earlier in this post!!! Because my Mom mentioned my dedication to my workouts, I thought about my daily effort to train and make myself better each day. Which then reminded me of The Life School podcast that spoke about the brilliant perspective of Stephen Cope!!! He is a psychotherapist and the author of many books on yoga and meditation, including one titled, “The Great Work of Your Life.” Brook Castillo shared her favorite quotes of his, along with some of her own. And I would love to share them with you!
1) “Inaction is full of action. We are always taking action, for ourselves or resisting it.”
Everything is a choice and that choice either moves us closer to where we want to be or further away from where we want to be. We are either taking action FOR ourselves or resisting action and going AGAINST ourselves and what we really want. It’s so important to pay attention to our choices and if they are leading us in the direction we desire.
I also see this as if we give up on what we really want, we are resisting life. We are going against what our intuition is saying. Which is why I have never given up on my body and where I want to go, even after my many, many horrendous knee-injury fails along the way.
Speaking of….
2) “Failure is a part of every dharma story. We try on different versions of ourselves and each fail gets us closer to who we really are. Nothing has gone wrong, it is the process.”
We learn so much from failure. Much more than we do from success. I can attest to that and my many knee fails! Failure is a sign that we’re trying, that we’re growing, and that we’re learning “what not to do” and “what we don’t want” so that we can move in the direction of what we do want.
I often must remind myself that we need failure to grow, to get stronger, to get wiser, and to reach the destinations that call us. AS LONG AS we learn from these failures and the mistakes that we make.
3) “What is mastery? It’s almost never the result of mere talent. It’s the quality of sustained and intense effort. The challenge is there for you on purpose. The point isn’t to be successful or to have the creation, the point is to create.”
Again, it is all about the EFFORT and putting our full hearts into what we are doing and trying to achieve. Like Stephen Cope implies, to put forth the effort and keep creating. That is how we achieve mastery, that is how we overcome injury loops, that is how we combat any and all obstacles that come our way, and then we KEEP GOING. It’s all about showing up and putting in the constant and consistent effort. That is the most important part: Loving the process and embracing each moment that we create, good or not-so-good. And then continuing on in the same way.
4) Lastly, within the same podcast, Brook Castillo mentioned two things that I found to be really powerful and memorable.
She spoke of “Attentional Training” and how important it is to really pay attention to ourselves, our minds, and what we are thinking, doing, and saying.
Because there are so many distractions that we put in place, it gets easier and easier to lose sight of what is happening inside of us and inside our minds. She encourages her students to be fascinated by themselves, without judgement, to look at what they are doing and what they are thinking, and to strive to know themselves deeply. This is what I aim to do every day, with this incremental intention to understand myself the tiniest bit more each day. This is vital to success and finding inner fulfillment, no matter what goal/target/vision is in front of us.
Brook Castillo also says, “to choose life means to choose death and to choose life means to choose all of the challenges that present themselves.”
When we say yes to life and we want to walk this earth and live our lives, that means accepting every part of it because that is a part of life. We cannot say yes to one side, without saying yes to the challenges and hardships of life as well. It comes as a package deal and therefore life is and was never meant to be “easy.” Again, to expect this is a set up for supreme disappointment and nasty surprises.
For myself, saying yes to life means accepting these knee surgeries as a part of my process. Done. I can get mad about it and frustrated and frazzled and STRESSED….yet that doesn’t change what has already happened and it doesn’t change where I want to go. It definitely changes HOW I get there, that is for sure!!! Yet, giving up is an option that I will never choose so trying to deny my circumstances and avoid “challenges” will not help me succeed. Showing up for myself every day and doing my work WILL help me succeed. Because I say yes to life and to running my marathon and to all of the many goals and visions that I have for myself – – including the messy parts and complications that will surely come along for the ride.
Why wait to begin working towards the things that you really want?? Perhaps you can ask yourself what is holding you back in the first place and address that. Start there. Because you deserve the time and the attention to move closer in the direction of your dreams and your happiness. And if you show up for yourself each day, listen to what you need, and learn from yourself, past and present, you will get closer and closer to the version of YOU that can conquer your world.
We deserve to live our lives to the very fullest expansion possible!!!! To take action, make the effort, and embrace the process all while continuing to create and serve our purpose, our visions, and our happy hearts.
♥️🎇✨🌠💖🌄💫🌅♥️🏞🌟🎆💖🌃